Diabetes Bummer Day

I made an appointment for a new endocrinologist -and they put me on a 6+ month wait list. I've had the same endo/office for almost 9 years and I really felt like my voice was not being heard. And on MORE than one occasion my nutritionist and doctor both suggested that my weight loss problems has nothing to do with my diabetes. My nutritionist actually even told me that insulin doesn't necessarily store fat. THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!! So, I have waited and this morning I had my new appointment. Excited to maybe get a plan, have someone on MY side. I practically cried the whole way home from the appointment. It did not go as planned. I have an A1C of 6.2. Good right? RIGHT?! They REAMED me up and down that I am not doing it good enough and that my diabetes more than likely killed my son and caused all the other issues for my children. Ok. So they didn't necessarily SAY that but that is how they made me feel. For the record...my A1C was always less than 6.8 during pregnancy and the first trimester was always in the 5.4-6.2 range. No one has ever just said those things and it was hard to hear. I have a few friends that THINK they know how diabetes works and how I should be living and they have told me so, but that is for another day. Yes, I know out of control diabetes causes complications - but does controlled diabetes cause complications? (Controlled meaning A1C less than 6.8) Basically the visit came down to the daily numbers instead of just my A1C. I get that. My other endo only cared about the A1C. Mine was almost always just fine so nothing else was ever really worked through or talked about. I know I need to get my daily numbers more consistent. So, we are going to start from scratch next week. I will be meeting with the pump rep. I'll get a new meter, new numbers, the works. Really disappointed that they felt I wasn't in a good place but there is HOPE in all of that. Hope that my numbers can come down even further. And I know that they can, it is just easy to be where I am at and not have to work TOO hard at it. I am reminded that I live with a incurable disease, one of the MAJOR killers in this country, a disease that I can't go an hour without thinking about. At least it is manageable and I can live a "normal" life. Whatever that means. Even after all that, I told her about my weight loss and all the things I've tried to do to lose weight. I then mentioned that I did the juice fast just as a last resort, to see if I could lose some weight quickly - to get to a better weight. She rolled her eyes and said, "then your sugars would have been absolutely out of control and high." I said, Um, NO! They were perfect. She said "I don't know about that." SHE TOTALLY thought I was lying about my blood sugars during my fast!!! I called her out on it but she didn't want to hear it. It sucked the wind right out of me. I am HAPPY that I lost almost 9 pounds. That makes me 9 lbs healthier. … [Read more...]

Stupid Calories Gotta be the Insulin

I mentioned that I was going to talk about those stupid calories. So, since I have been HARDCORE training for a triathlon and all; going from a sedentary lifestyle to working out 4 times a week, I would have thought I'd lose some weight. At least one pound. Would be nice to lose 50, right? This all sounds so familiar doesn't it? I tried to find some older posts where I am almost POSITIVE I said the above paragraph before. We've been here. Done that. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Staying at that lovely 180lbs. So, I decided to write down every single calorie that goes into my mouth. Calories couldn't POSSIBLY be my problem. Nope. The day I started to just track, not necessarily cutting all the way to 1500 calories (but tracking in and of itself made me realize how many calories I had been eating) I ate over 2500 CALORIES. Yes, I just admitted that to the world. GROSS. And that was me being CAREFUL that day. So, not just eating 20 chips, but maybe only eating 10, and having 1 cookie in the morning instead of 3 throughout the day. Do you get what I'm saying!!! Even at the training pace I am working at, 2500 calories is way too much. No WAY I was burning that much in the gym. I HAD to have been eating 3000 calories. So, I came out of that world of denial again and cut back on my consumption of calories. Down to a 1500-1700 goal range. I don't want the perfectionist in me to get upset if I eat 1680 instead of the 1500. I have to make a range. I lost 5 pounds in 4 days. And that is it. Don't know if it was a fluke, coincidence or what not, but for the past 3 weeks of tracking calories. I haven't lost anymore and I'm back up to 180. Sigh. I thought I was on to something. Yes, I think I am MUCH healthier for cutting back all the excessive calories, but for most people, you lose weight and continue to lose weight at this pace. I'm not going to give up and funny thing, I'm sure I'm going to hear one of you say... Just give it time Your body will catch up Are you sure you're not starving yourself? Are you just eating 1500 in FAT calories? I've thought through all of those. I'm working on them all. All I can think about is...its gotta be the diabetes, the INSULIN rather. Photo borrowed from Medical Daily I started to notice the weight gain with Everett's pregnancy but I also went on the insulin pump 3 months before Everett -that is when it all started. I went from one type of injectable insulin to a pump with a different kind of insulin. After researching the insulin that I am taking, EVERY piece of literature and fine print says "weight gain." I called my endocrinologist and asked if I was on to something and he said, "I haven't heard of anything like that. " SERIOUSLY? You haven't heard of insulin and gaining weight!!!! Time to find a new doctor. I was so irritated that I childishly threatened that I'd just stop taking my insulin (I know, I know, very mature huh?) He prescribed a new insulin, I … [Read more...]

Couch to Triathlon -Week 13

Well, the start of week 13, just didn't start too hot. Packed our 5 bags up, loaded the kids up, got everything ready (takes a lot of thinking and planning), planning to spend a good solid 2 hours training. I was swimming laps at the gym, about 15 minutes into my 45 minutes and I started to feel funky. No energy. My stroke was getting sloppy. My mind was a little foggy. I did a few more laps and it was not getting any better. I decided to call it quits. Really irritated, feeling like a failure that I couldn't get my 45 minutes in. Was it mental or physical? Couldn't tell yet. But, I always get in the hot tub after the pool. It is a reward to myself. As I'm walking into the hot tub, I'm light headed and just not feeling well. In my mind, I'm thinking, "Hannah, don't get into the hot tub" "Remember all those signs say don't do this if you are light headed!". I sit in the tub for maybe 2 minutes and I am crashing. It has got to be my blood sugars. I slowly get out of the hot tub, a little wonky. Afraid I'll keel over into the pool as I walk by to the locker room. Thinking of all the things that would happen and how embarrassed I would be if I passed out and even still annoyed that my workout is essentially over. I dig my gym bag out of the locker and fish for my meter. I NEVER test before I workout because I've never had a problem or a need to. Well, today would have been a good day to do that. 49. Crap. I fish in my bag for a granola bar, something to give me some energy. Nothing. I don't have my wallet in my bag, it is in another bag in the car. The thought of getting dressed (I'm soaking wet) and going out to my car seems like a million miles away. My brain is starting to slow down. Foggy. The thought of putting my bag back into the locker sounds like a lot of work. I think of going to the Juice Bar and just asking for something and saying "I'll pay you in 15 minutes after I'm done drinking this juice". No. Don't want to draw attention to myself. As I form thoughts, you'd think my brain was sifting through mud, super super slow. Ugh. I slowly get dressed. Pack my bag up. Walk to my car (trying to avoid seeing my children through the childcare window, I don't want them to think I'm leaving them). Grab my wallet. Head to the juice bar and pretty much eat a buffet of foods. Yes folks, I went to the gym and ate more calories than I had burned in the last 2 days. Gross. I still had over an hour to train. So, I head to the bikes. Determined to just bike for an hour at my usual rate. Ha. It was over after 2 miles. I just had no energy and I was beat. I picked up the girls and to top of my irritation, we went and got some fast food. TODAY will be a different day with different choices. Gym tonight to bike for 2 hours. Otherwise, I've been doing pretty good. I signed up with a team for the Half Marathon Relay coming up in May. I have a hard time making myself run, so I needed a goal to get … [Read more...]