5 years

It has been 5 years since Everett died. Like every year, on this anniversary, we try to make a good memory – a memory of us as a family being together, playing together and enjoying each other. This year, we decided to go back to Pittsburgh and be with those we love and those who walked through our grief with us when Everett died.

Hotel with a pool…of course. Foster’s first swim.

Hanging out with some good friends. We were able to see quite a few people in just 2 days – it was so nice to be with them. We had a HARD time getting out of church on Sunday. Gave us a lot of joy to see everyone. We could have spent way more time with friends but between all the naps and cranky kids and eating and swimming – well, it was a jam packed weekend.

Our friends Faith and Hope had fun taking photos with the camera. They took some pretty good ones! I think there might be 1 if not 2 photographers in the making.

Dale and Lindy got to join the hockey fun with friends on Sunday afternoon.

When I think about that weekend, the weekend that changed our life, my focus goes towards the hours leading up to him being born. I can’t help it, it haunts me.

The good news is that God does restore, he does bring healing, he does bring joy. We have tasted it and seen it. We are so thankful for Him surrounding us with such an amazing support in Pittsburgh.

I will always have a hole in my heart. I will always feel that my family is not complete. And now that we are planning on not having any more kiddos, I am trying to wrestle through the finality of that. I think all of us mothers go through a bittersweet phase of no more babies and I think if you ask a 52 year old woman, she might say she’d like a baby again (for maybe a day). Do I want another child to fill that hole or do I just want another baby? At least the doctors are deciding for us. Not recommended to have more than 4 c-sections as a diabetic.

Thank you all for your love and messages on March 1st. We are grateful that you remembered our son.


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