34 Weeks

Now that we’ve taken care of a few of our major life changes, I’ve finally had some mental capacity to think about this next baby who will be joining us in less than 4 weeks! I haven’t had a lot of time to think about him and to dream about him and to obsess. Kind of feels like he has been on the back burner of our life as we did so much other stuff.

NOW, I can start obsessing and preparing! He is coming soon!

Gladly, we packed our old house very well (actually some women I know did most of it), so things were labeled in detail All the baby stuff was moved directly into his room. Crib is set up and just yesterday, the girls and I dug through all of the clothing we had stored for Everett. Hoping to wash some this week and pack a bag! I picked out his coming home outfit and now starting to work on the ‘big sister’ gifts! Felt a little odd putting all the boy stuff BACK into the dresser. We’ve done that before.

Surprisingly, now that I’ve had time to think and as we get closer to his birthday, I am nervous. You’d think that already have one rainbow baby would ease some of that pain, but honestly, since this is a boy, I have irrational thoughts of my body rejecting boys. I had been following the story of a newborn baby boy who was born about a month ago, seemingly healthy and then they found out his heart didn’t work right – he just died a few days ago. This was their 3rd loss. They lost twins last year. You just NEVER think that lightning will strike twice – even myself, I deny the fact that this could happen again, but in all reality, it could. I pray that we will meet our son, get to see him grow up and thrive.

I’ve also been thinking about the c-section again. The last 3 sections, I never put thought into it – just because I had no choices. I don’t have a choice now, but just thinking about how major a surgery it is – CRAZY what they do to my body! I’ve always just been concerned about how the baby comes out and never thought about my risks and recovery. Gladly, if all goes according to plan, I’ll have the same doctor deliver and hospital and staff – that helps with all the “unknowns” that are out there (We are driving back to Pittsburgh to have this baby). I have always recovered really well with my c-sections primarily because I had to. I was up within an hour of my c-section to go see Ruby in the NICU. I remember it was probably a bad decision at the time, but we do what we have to!

Aside from coming out alive, I’m praying desperately that this baby doesn’t have to go to the NICU for his blood sugars (like Lindy and Ruby)(or for anything else for that matter) but it is so common with infants of diabetic women. I just want to snuggle with him in our room for 4 days and not 14 days of poking him every 3 hours, force feeding him, and watching him through a glass window, sharing him with a bunch of nurses, feeling like a complete failure because they are in there due to my diabetes. Praying for his health and for his heart and everything else that these little ones go through. It is the LEAST of my worries but many of you who are close to me know how I’ve felt robbed of so much “normal” baby stuff those first few weeks. I have yet to have a “normal” delivery/bring home baby/nursing situation. I dream about it. We are planning on a NICU stay so that we are prepared. I don’t want to live in denial. If he goes to the NICU, I will stay in Pittsburgh, SOMEWHERE on someone’s couch near the hospital until he is ready to come home. I wish they had ronald mcdonald housing for West Penn, if anyone knows about renting a room or something there near the hospital, let me know! Dale and the girls will have to go back home for school.

My Pittsburgh doctor recommended a doctor up this way, so I’ve been going there for NSTesting twice a week already. So thankful to have already connected with a babysitter so that I can go twice a week. Finding her and her family was very providential – I completely trust her with my kiddos, they love her, AND she homeschools, so she is very flexible. AND I really like her mother and family – a great connection already! I met with the OB team here for my last few weeks of doctor’s appointments and followups JUST in case I need to deliver here. People are having a hard time understanding that I’m DRIVING back to Pittsburgh to have this baby! I don’t want it any other way, primarily because I LOVE my OB team and already know the NICU team. I know their schedule, know the area, know how the nurses take care of my babies, know the doctors there, I know how the nurses round, boobie bob is there to help with nursing -all that stuff that takes time to learn – I am happy with familiarity AND my children will be taken care of by my trusted friend Jan.

I have NO ENERGY to do much these days. I can’t keep my house clean because I can’t really get on the floor anymore. I try to remember just 12 months ago I completed a full triathlon and that keeps me sane. I can get my energy and body (somewhat) back again someday.

Sunday, I woke up feeling a little off. A few symptoms that concerned me. We were all getting ready for church and decided I’d just go into the hospital for some testing to make sure all was ok. Thankful that I had already been testing with them, so my information was already in the system. I sent Dale and the girls to church and I sat in triage feeling rather silly to be there, but relieved that the baby looked very happy and healthy.

How Far Along: 34 weeks + 2 days today.
Due Date: We have already scheduled the c-section!
Name Yet?: Still feeling pretty good about the name we picked out!
Size of Baby: So, this little one is measuring a bit larger than he “should.” His belly is measuring about 4 weeks ahead – that’s it, not his heart or head or anything. Again, typical for infants of diabetics. Since I am taking so much insulin, he is taking in some as well. Insulin is a fat maker! None of my other babies had any problems with size – but I think this one might be the biggest of them all!
Next Ultrasound: Is a week from Tuesday! We shall see how he is growing!



 

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