Best Dog in the World

Well. Today was the day. Such a sad sad day. I can’t really talk without crying.

We put our beloved dog Indiana down today.

a.k.a. Dr. Jones, Deanna, Jones, Jonezy

As I said it everyday this week, it became more and more real. The more I talked about it, the easier it was to not change my mind. You see, I think Indiana could have lived another year or so. No one would know if they just walked into our house and met him for the first time (other than the fact he might have peed all over your leg).

Just this morning, I changed my mind like 18 times. I woke up just sick to my stomach and so incredibly sad. To look at him, he looked fine; but I knew. I’d rather do this now than wait until he gets worse.

His accidents started to get more frequent. Just the other day we cleaned up 4 accidents in one day. We’ve been doing this for over a year now and it is not getting any better, nor do I think it will. Honestly, I was getting tired of it.

The house is starting to smell. It might have for a while, but I am not in denial anymore.

Dale and briefly talked about it – neither one of us wanted to make the decision.

So, Tuesday, I talked to my therapist about it and she really walked me through the process and the grief and the reasoning. I could think of a million reasons why he should be put down but then I can reason all the way out of them and back again.

There were 4 things to think about.

You see, he couldn’t possibly be comfortable drinking almost 2 gallons of water a day. His thirst just couldn’t be quenched. If I had my guess, I’d guess he was diabetic, just like his mamma; but all the testing that we did came back negative.

Then, the peeing. He just couldn’t control it. And drinking 2 gallons of water, well, he’d PEE 2 gallons of water – all over my floor. Or all down my stairs. Or all over my couch. We told ourselves we could put up with it for a while; but it was starting to get worse. We’ve been getting up twice a night to let him out for over a year now.

His hips. Ever since the time I found him in the yard, his hind legs not working, his hips have never been the same. And of course, the vets could never tell us the problem. P.S. I HATE BOTH of our vets. 2 vets and neither one ever truly helped Indiana. Of course I cannot pay thousands of dollars for testing and if he had cancer OR diabetes, I would not pay for daily medicine. But, lately, he has had a very hard time going upstairs to be with me at night. Then, he’d fall DOWN the stairs when we went downstairs. Some of it was probably the wood floors, but his hips were screwy.

He was almost deaf. He couldn’t even hear when someone came in the front door.

So, add all those up and it was time. Separately, each thing is bareable, but it just started to take a toll on us.

My therapist loves animals so her theory was to let my dog die with dignity. Don’t wait until he is wetting himself while he sleeps or until he can’t walk. That made sense to me. The only reason I want to keep him around is for selfish reasons.

So, we said goodbye. Tears throughout the family as I drove him to the vet. Sobbing in the car as he gets one last ride in the car with no idea what is going to happen. Completely trusting me.

He notices right away we are at the vet and I have to drag him through the door. He peed about 15 times and pooped right before we went in. I am a sobbing mess. The poor staff takes me back pretty quickly. And then the doctor comes in and we get Indiana on the table, I sit down on a stool and hold his head. Calm him down, tell him how he is the BEST dog in the whole world. How much each of us love him. They stick the IV in and then the doctor asks for my permission. I stroke his fur, his head and then not even 15 seconds later, he stops breathing. Just like that. I held him and sobbed in his neck. Not certain that he was gone yet. The doctor confirmed it.

I miss him so much. He was my buddy. He was ALWAYS under foot. My best buddy.

I brought him home and we buried him out in our animal cemetery (yes, we have one). I can’t even explain how hard it was to see his beautiful fur, his sweet face and know that he was not there.

Anyone that knew Indiana loved him dearly. He was such a sweetheart.

Our last family photo with Indiana -the best dog in the world.

Goodbye Buddy.

Joy and Sadness go hand in hand. Indiana brought us so much joy over the past 5 years. I wouldn’t give that up for the pain we are feeling now. If you want joy in your life, you gotta also expect sadness.

P.S. Thank you for all the calls and texts. I actually cannot text anymore, my phone is on the fritz, so I am NOT ignoring you, just can’t respond via text. Will call when I can control my emotions a bit better.


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